Hello, mid-late 20’s

So, I haven’t graduated college. I’m not engaged and I still live with my mother. But I have a killer sense of humor, a resilience that could challenge any post-apocalypse roach you may encounter, and an absurd sense of innocence I just can’t seem to shake.

My insecurities keep me youthful.  As a result, I’m approaching life much more nonchalantly. The once oh-so-comforting chalk outlines of my “right path” have been smudged and faded over the years by the unexpected realities that keep this daydream in check.

Keep things simple: stay away from “maybes”,  There’s nothing but “hope” there. Hope’s a Halloween word–tricks and treats included–a false “yes” promise, never what it appears to be.

Track your major losses:

1)   It’s going to be two years since I’ve heard from my father: two years, 730 days, 1,051,200 minutes since I talked to my once-was best friend.

2) It’ been a year and three months since Devin killed himself: 657, 435.958  minutes since he breathed, four years since I saw him (2,102,400 minutes).

It doesn’t seem like much, but that because we need to learn to value 30 seconds a bit more–hold a plank for 30 seconds then get back to me.

I’m growing. I’m scared. But I’m here.
deep breath

Let’s do this getting-older thing!

The conditions of the unconditional

What is unconditional, and what right do we have to it?

Unconditional:

not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.

From this, I understand it to mean there is no condition required.
I was recently told that I don’t “give unconditionally”.
Well, I immediately retreated into my corner of insecurity, and obligingly apologized for acting in such a manner.
I woke up the next morning thinking, “Wait, is giving unconditionally even possible?”
Being the obsessive compulsive thinker that I am, I posed the question to the great thinkers sitting on my shelf:

As human beings, are we capable of unconditional acts? Does our rational self even allow for such expressions?

From what I’ve been able to gather this far, the only unconditional relationship is between parent and child.

It’s impossible for our rational mind to act without expectation. Even the laws of physics state, “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

So, my question to you: Is it possible for some to take unconditionally?
In other words, are there those so hung up on the idea of unconditional giving that they aren’t able to fully appreciate the conditional expression of love they do receive?
If this is the case, are the givers doomed to be givers forever?

Perhaps, the closest we come to unconditional expression is when we give our time and only want the equal thing in return.